my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize