just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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