for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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