ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
