can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
