I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
