Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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