Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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