piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
