I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize