I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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