So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
