Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
