I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize