Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
