Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
