i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
