you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
