Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
