The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
