Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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