is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
