Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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