Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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