i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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