On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
