I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
