I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
