wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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