Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
BRING THE BAGELS
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
There are leaves in my underwear?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
