This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
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Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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