just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon