HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.