My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You can't special order awesome
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
either way he was missing a nipple.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.