Texts From Last Night

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  (705): View more from Ontario

  never. drinking. again.

  (1-705): View more from Ontario

  lets not get ahead of ourselves.

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  (705): never. drinking. again. (1-705): lets not get ahead of ourselves. http://tfl.nu/le2c
  Replies (36) Good night (5155) Bad night (800)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  three words: i give head

  (770): View more from Georgia

  three words: not that well

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  (404): three words: i give head (770): three words: not that well http://tfl.nu/mukd
  Replies (65) Good night (1291) Bad night (8505)
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  (209): View more from California

  Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.

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  (209): Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future. http://tfl.nu/yuzg
  Replies (19) Good night (6449) Bad night (890)
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  (510): View more from California

  I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...

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  (510): I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall... http://tfl.nu/htpj
  Replies (17) Good night (6720) Bad night (1876)
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  (408): View more from California

  Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?

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  (408): Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge? http://tfl.nu/3h8y
  Replies (67) Good night (2177) Bad night (6090)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store

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  (305): you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store http://tfl.nu/0ult
  Replies (25) Good night (4710) Bad night (1089)
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  (315): View more from New York

  apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.

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  (315): apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food. http://tfl.nu/ofln
  Replies (3) Good night (3281) Bad night (770)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.

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  (617): My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning. http://tfl.nu/kt95
  Replies (24) Good night (5349) Bad night (1449)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water

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  (604): every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water http://tfl.nu/5vey
  Replies (8) Good night (3230) Bad night (798)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...

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  (239): I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday... http://tfl.nu/23uc
  Replies (3) Good night (2708) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories

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  (706): Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories http://tfl.nu/hpss
  Replies (5) Good night (1917) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross

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  (616): She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross http://tfl.nu/ueo2
  Replies (18) Good night (935) Bad night (2806)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry

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  (919): That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry http://tfl.nu/76an
  Replies (2) Good night (823) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school

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  (414): i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school http://tfl.nu/pd3u
  Replies (3) Good night (1013) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing

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  (734): I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing http://tfl.nu/hsq9
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (248)

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