I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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