at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
