that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
