Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
