Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize