So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
