Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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