Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
