i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
