i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize