She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize