I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
