ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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