If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
