I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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