so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
