Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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