So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
