I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
