Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
