I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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