This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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