I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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