I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
