Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
