Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
