i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
