sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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