Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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