ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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