Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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