Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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