...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
